Today I was speaking to a friend and she was telling me that she’s getting anxious over a project she’s been working on because things are coming along but not very quickly and she’s growing impatient. It happens to a lot of us all the time. You’ve been on a couple dates with someone and you’re super into them but your phone might as well be dead cuz the screen is black and the only call is from your mum! Or maybe you have something in the works and have expectations that it will be finished in a certain time or you are told you will know the results of a test or an interview in a couple of days and the next thing you know it’s been a week and nothing. Maybe you start to panic or worry or you just say fuck it and give up on the project, person or yourself. You may even go to the extremes of telling yourself that you are wrong in some way for the results not coming to you quicker or like you thought they would. You tell yourself you have done something to deserve the torture you are enduring by having to be patient.
My friend was in this position, she had started to second guess her whole situation and blame herself for something that was wait for it…..out of her control. BOOM! This may shock you but patience isn’t a lesson in waiting. It’s a lesson in giving up and being comfortable with, NO CONTROL. It’s not knowing and the fear that comes from it that sends us into a tizzy. When we feel like this, we usually do what is instinctual and that is to hold on tighter. Usually this ends up back firing. Holding on to something or someone or an outcome too tight is like holding onto a rope that’s being pulled from your hands. It’s either going to drag you around or rip up your hands. When it comes to expectations and control people are just like the monkey trying to grab the banana in the jar and getting mad when his hand gets stuck.
Now you’re probably thinking, “OK Kendra so patience isn’t patience its control but how do I not freak out when I have no control?’ It’s totally normal to want to hold on tight and become tied to the expectation but it doesn’t serve you. So if you find yourself worrying or feeling impatient find something you do have control over and focus your energy there. Hint: the only thing you have control over is you and your actions.
If you’re waiting for a text back or results from something, meet up with friends (reliable ones are best in these situations), exercise, make a meal and sit down to eat it, do something creative, do yoga, meditate, do whatever you need to do to get out of your head a bit and remind yourself that you have control in your life. It’s all choice. I like to meet up with my friends who are good at telling me what’s up and reminding me where my control lies (aka calling me on my overthinking bullshit) Remember you also have control over your emotions and something as small as a physical movement can affect your emotional state.
So next time you’re feeling like you just can’t take the stress of not knowing or it feels like you’ve been waiting forever, take a deep breath, remember that it’s going to be ok and do something you can control. Oh and if you’re super interested in learning more on how to let go, trust and get to the bottom of where that fear of losing control comes from, contact me. I can help you with that!
Much Love
Kendra
